Everyone experiences emotional pain because life can get messy like a mud pie. On Father’s Day, I read an article about letters President Obama’s father wrote many years ago. Since President Obama wrote a book about the broken relationship with his father, and everyone knew each letter represented pain. I did not have a strong relationship with my biological father either. Reading the article and comments, I understood how anyone can suffer pain and rejection. Today, I went to church but I was thinking so many negative thoughts. When I read that article, it triggered old hurts, pains that I had hidden.
Let’s face reality about black men in our country. More black men lack an education while struggling with unemployment more than Whites. Looking at these statistics, you become angry, fearful.
I came from a middle-class family. Even though I had in a nice home with a manicured lawn, my step dad ignored me. We did not develop a close relationship. At the same time, my dad Victor refused to work, and he never paid child support either. All of those years I depended on my mom for emotional support, but she was not a Christian.
After graduation, I joined the Army. You know, at 18, I thought that I didn’t need God because the world seemed exciting. I didn’t know much about God because the Baptist church (at home) was not spirit filled. Jesus opened my eyes two years later and changed my heart. I became a church girl while God became my father.
Why God is a father
When you don’t have a close relationship with your own dad, you must work harder to establish a foundation of love. A real man shows his daughter how to demand respect and work from a man. As a young woman looks at her parent’s relationship, she sees strong role models and admires them.
Since I didn’t have role models, God became my father figure. My relationship with God is tight like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah, it’s close. Over time, I became a prayer warrior.
As I prayed for my sister’s finances, God blessed. Meanwhile, mom asked questions about God and go to church weekly.
Many of us do not have a close relationship with our dads, but we depend on God’s word for spiritual healing. Thirty percent of black children enjoy both parents’ influence like education and strong families. Don’t look at those numbers and doubt the power of the Holy Spirit. In our communities, single mothers raise their children who excel in everything.
Over the years, my faith becomes stronger when I pray for myself whether I face challenges with a job or difficult relationships. I quote the word and believe. God answers my prayers. If I depend on a dad more than God, I would lack faith.
God requires us to forgive one another 70 x 7 each day. Without a clean heart, your prayers bounce off the wall. Holding onto grudges, we hinder our faith walk. You stumble in the dark because the righteous live by faith. You can allow God to restore your broken relationships with a lot of patience.
Do you struggle with forgiving others? Sometimes you do not know what words to say when bitterness settles in. God heals. Healing is a process, but each Christian must step up and be counted. Faith gets God’s attention.
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you Ephesians 4:2, 32 NLT.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry James 1:19 NLT.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn God’s will for you, which is good and Romans 12:12
Trust God whether or not you have a strong father in your life because bitterness robs us of blessings. Allow God to heal you today.